The Virtue of Patience

And What To Do When It Eats Us Up

When I got my book deal for Garden of Her Heart it was a one book deal. I didn’t think too much about that at the time - hey, come on, I was chuffed to bits that I even GOT a book deal! But being on a one book deal means that at some point you’re back on submission. Now, my deal did at least give my publisher first refusal on book 2, and so I wrote it as a sequel in the hope that would guarantee me a second one book deal. Here’s what I’ve learned about my patience and what I need to do to keep the cogs of patience turning in my favour.

I love a bulleted list, and I hope you do too, because I’m about to delve into one right now! The first list is the things I’ve learned - about publishing and in life

• There are no guarantees in the business of publishing - none whatsoever. And whilst having written a standalone sequel might help me get a second book deal, it doesn’t carry any guarantees with it.

• Publishers will miss the deadlines they set themselves - I don’t know what the world of publishing used to be like, but I’m hearing that many publishers now work seriously under-staffed, meaning the staff who are left struggle to keep up with the work. And that leads to delays in responding. I’m not sure any of us like this, but it’s not going to change simply because of our feelings on the matter.

• Whilst there’s occasional stories about responses in record time, it’s incredibly rare, as rare as Paddington walking down the high street in a new hat, and that means we can’t go pinning our hopes on fast responses.

• Watching a boiling kettle doesn’t make it boil any faster - same with emails. Refreshing doesn’t force expected emails to come.

What does this all mean for our patience? Here you go, another bulleted list.

• Patience isn’t a virtue, despite what we’re told. However it is a necessary take on the waiting game.

• Patience wears thin, so I’m finding it’s best to keep myself occupied. At the moment I’m waiting to hear from my agent about my publisher and their decision on books 2 and 3 and I’m waiting on beta reader feedback on book 3 - that’s a lot of patience that’s needed. The best thing? Keep on writing - plus I love doing bookbinding and I’m making mini notebooks to sell at a Christmas market.

• Patience is about setting realistic expectations - I now ignore the stories about record times for getting responses from agents and publishers. I work on the basis that if a deadline is given it’s ok to give a nudge around the time of the deadline. Alternatively, without a deadline, I consider 6 weeks as a reasonable timeframe for a response. Obviously, if you are querying, the agency you sent your query pack to might have said that it can take up to 12 weeks to get back to you. If that’s the case, then change my 6 week timeframe to a 12 week one.

• Whenever I am nervy about something I use EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique. You might have heard it referred to as tapping. I tap on being ok with waiting and letting go of what I cannot control. If you want to try out EFT, google Brad Yates - he has loads of YouTube videos on different things using EFT.

• I know somebody who use the Serenity Prayer ‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.’ Either of these two approaches helps us to let go.

• And finally, when my patience has run out and the demons in my head start telling me that my publisher hates my writing, I ask myself what evidence I have that this is correct (usually none!), and then I change the self-talk. What have I done recently that was good? What could I do next that will be good? Do I have a learning gap that needs support so that I can improve? By being curious, I can dampen down the demons, and overcome the negative self-talk.

Do you struggle with being patient? Here’s 3 things you can do right now.

1. Busy yourself with something different - an occupied mind loses track of time.

2. Go for a walk in nature (a local park will do) - fresh air changes our mood.

3. Book in for a coaching session with me so that we can find a way for you to let go, and work on your negative self-talk. Click HERE to book in.